So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
