She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
