it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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