Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
