Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
