whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
