My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
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