Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
