I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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