Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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