this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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