Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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