I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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