didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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