it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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