WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
