Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
