I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Rumble strips road head = magical
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
