You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
