it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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