WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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