She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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