For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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