i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
