walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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