You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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