he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
