It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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