So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
