would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
