halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Randomize
