dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize