I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
