Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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