Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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