there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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