i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
