he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
