you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
