He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
