i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
