I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
