I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize