i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
