halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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