Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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