So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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