We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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