i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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