You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
