You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
