i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
