and you said cock pushups were impossible
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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