BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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