Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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