that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
