One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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