i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
