Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize