I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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