Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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