Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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