Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
