I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
